TAKE THAT RESUMES!! I squish you all with words.
This is my response to the university question about briefly summarizing my work history and or inclusion of a work resume. This will either get my application torched or amuse some poor person. I’m hoping the latter.
In my lifelong search for the perfect job, I have worked long hours in the restaurant industry. In this profession, I perfected the ability to speak fluent nonsense and hold reasonably polite conversations with disagreeable people. I can carry a tray above my head and fist over three drinks in one hand. I know the difference between Garganelli and Gorganzola. I’ve had moments where I distract myself with the idea I can do other things: grave digger, haunted house employee, writing tutor, and military personnel. However, I find myself drawn to working with people in a fast-paced environment requiring me to be sociable on a daily basis.
If nothing else, my decade working with the public has given me more experience than the average eighteen year old on the importance of a degree. I understand that without the proper education I will be pigeon-holed into believing that I am capable of nothing more than remembering whether my customer wanted a baked potato or a side of rice. I also know that this is not true. I do not look good on paper, because a resume doesn’t include the wonder of a sunset over the pacific, the knowledge that I can drive only so far on a quarter tank of gas, that most people just want to be listened to, and that I am capable of nearly anything. So, work history aside, I am an amazing person who deserves the opportunity to become more than just a waitress.